Thursday, March 26, 2015

A Foreigner Cooking in Estonia - Recipe kaks (2)

So Spring teased us last week with its beautiful sunshine and warmth. I proudly threw my boots and down coat into the closet, and unregretfully whispered, "Good riddance."

But, with the weekend a cold breeze re-entered Tallinn along with the occasional snow flurry.  And, I begrudgingly can be seen around town, once again, in my lined boots and black puffy coat.

So, to celebrate the revival of winter, I will share one of my favorite cold-weather meals: turkey chili.  When I eat this alone, I keep it as the healthy meal it is.

But, when I want to impress my Estonian friends with a true American meal, I also bake cornbread muffins- the classic companion for a good bowl of piping hot chili.

On Sunday, I invited some of my Estonian friends over for a taste-test.  And, as you can see from the pictures...they LOVED it (or at least acted like they did to not offend my sensitive soul).





This is what heaven in your mouth looks like, ladies and gentlemen!

So, whether you live in America or Estonia, this is a great recipe that I always receive quite a few compliments on.

Ground Turkey Chili




Ingredients:

4 Tablespoons of olive oil (extra virgin- cold pressed if possible)
2 bell peppers (I like to mix colors - 1 green/ 1 red; 1 red/ 1 orange) - diced
1 large onion - diced
3 cloves of garlic- minced
2 cans of diced tomatoes in their juice (eesti keeles- purustatud tomatid)
1 can of red kidney beans (eesti keeles- punased aedoad)


1.5 cups of water
1 jar of salsa (I love this organic version found at Rimi Supermarket)


1 package of ground turkey BREAST (eesti keeles- hakitud kalkuni rinnaliha)
**Make sure you are using breast meat (in Estonia, there are two types of ground turkey- white and dark meat. Be sure you buy "rinnaliha."  If you use the dark meat, it is nearly as fatty as beef).


Salt- 2 tsp
Fresh Ground Pepper
Ground Cumin
Ground Mild Chili Powder
***In Tallinn, there are only a few stores that sell cumin in its ground form and also a mild chili powder (instead of the bright red, super spicy stuff).  I find both spices at Marks & Spencer store at Kristiine or Rocca al Mare shopping centers.



Instructions:

Heat 4 tablespoons of olive oil in a large soup pan.  (Don't heat it too hot or your ruin the olive oil's healthy properties).  Sauté the minced garlic, diced onion, bell peppers, and ground turkey until meat is cooked-through and vegetables are soft.



Then add diced tomatoes (with all juice), kidney beans (with all juice) and 1 can or approximately 1.5 cups of water.

Now it's time to add the spices, salt and pepper that make all the difference :)  I have given approximate measurements, but I always taste and add more or less spice according to our family's preference.

Cover with a lid and let simmer on low heat (and allow all spices to absorb) for a good 20 or 30 minutes.

When I serve this, I always add bowls of sour cream and shredded cheddar cheese to the table. These can be added into the soup according to each person's liking.  Chopped avocado can also make a nice garnish for the soup.

In Estonia, I find cheddar cheese in the specialty cheese cases at Rimi or Solaris.  It is a white cheddar (rather than the orange cheddar of America), but it still tastes great.

Here is a brand I often use:



Now, if you really want to impress your guests and not worry about adding on a few extra muffins around the hips, you can make corn bread muffins!



Corn Bread Muffins

Ingredients:

1 cup all-purpose white flour (eesti keeles - nisujahu)
***Not all white flours in Estonia perform like our American all-purpose flour.  This is a safe one I have tried and tested!


1 cup yellow cornmeal (eesti keeles- maisi-tang)


1/2 cup honey
2 teaspoons baking powder
(I love this one from Marks & Spencer - mostly because of the larger/ solid packaging)



1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk (a good substitute found in Estonia - Keefir)


1/2 cup butter, melted
***In Tallinn, I use this butter that is salted (get red-not green version- that says "Extrasaltat) - most Estonian butters are not, while most American recipes require salted butter.



1 Large egg, beaten
***Most eggs in Estonia are a size Medium according to American standards, but I have been able to find Large size eggs at Rimi Supermarket


coconut oil
*** I like this organic version I found at BioMarket in Solaris.


Instructions:

Preheat oven to 200 degrees celsius (400 degrees F).

Grease muffin tin using coconut oil so that muffins do not stick after baked (or use muffin paper cup liners).  Coconut oil is a healthier oil to use.

Mix dry ingredients (flour, cornmeal, baking powder and salt) together in a bowl.  Add wet ingredients (buttermilk, egg, honey, melted butter) to dry ingredients and mix well.

Spoon batter into prepared muffin cups.  Cook in preheated muffin until toothpick inserted in middle of muffin comes out clean (12 - 15 minutes).

I like to serve these hot with some butter!  These are a very American dish, and very delicious.  Although it may be a strange taste for Europeans, give them a try.  Nick even likes to crumble them into his chili!

And the good thing about chili- it tastes even better the second day after the spices have really set in.  So, this is perfect for leftovers.

Until next time, stay warm out there. Spring is coming!

Olivia

Sunday, March 22, 2015

It's Just Not Fair!

This morning I woke up early, grabbed my bag full of sheet music, and walked to the nearest tram stop.

Tallinn is dead on Sunday mornings. Some people were just crashing into bed after a night filled with too much alcohol, shallow kisses and bar songs.

Other families were just waking up to a warm morning at home filled with pancakes and cartoons.

Then there were the few of us, boarding a tram, for an early morning journey, appointment, or for me- music practice for today’s service at Focus Church.

As I walked up the old Soviet tram’s steps, I quickly found a single seat near a scratched window. As I sat down, a song played in my ear buds by Estonia’s top band, Ewert and the Two Dragons.



I experienced one of those shallow, self-pitying moments brought on by the horrible combination of exhaustion and emotion. I listened to the words and thought, “Why? Why me?”

It’s just not fair.

It’s amazing how those four words that we first started echoing when we were mere toddlers, fighting for our favorite toy, repeat themselves in varied ways throughout our lives.

Tears started to fall and I attempted to quickly wipe them away with my gloved hands. Perhaps I could convince my fellow passengers that the cold wind just had that effect on my delicate eyes? 

I had that moment of fear – when you look around to see if anyone caught you in your moment of weakness. I looked around the tram to find two of my band’s members sitting within view.

Great!  A leader’s dream come true.

I quickly straightened my back and pulled out my inner strength. And as I tightened my chin, and rolled my shoulders back into a fighting stance, I had a realization.

Life is never fair. Some of us find true love; some of us don’t. Some of us are made beautiful; others not. Some of us die young; others beg to die when old age keeps us trapped in decrepit bodies. Some of us were nurtured; some of us were abused.

There are things in life that even when we make our smartest decisions, push with our greatest effort, or dream about with the greatest fervor still don’t turn out. And…it’s just not fair.

Life was never about fairness. Life is about what we choose to do with the nasty challenges it hurls in our paths.

When we are unjustifiably hurt, do we choose bitterness- a cancer that will eat us from the inside out with every passing year – or do we forgive?

When our dreams of love never work out, do we judge ourselves as unworthy or do we love those we happen to be surrounded by with even more fervor and sacrifice?

When sickness consumes our bodies, do we lie in a bed of pity or do we fight to show those around us what true grace and strength is?

When sadness waits for us, daily, at the foot of our beds, do we welcome its embrace or do we laugh, a deep true belly laugh, at the many hidden daily joys that just wait to be noticed?

We are never measured by how fair of a life we live. We have absolutely no control over that. We are measured by the depth of character we allow to be destroyed or developed along the valleys and cliffs of life.

And what happens when we stare down the unfair pits of life with strength and character?

When we take our last breath, whether we’re too young or too old, we look back and see that in reality, all of our dreams did come true.

Why?

We finished the race. We fought the good fight. We kept the faith. And, when all we could do was stand, we stood.

And as we stand…and forgive…and laugh…and hope while living an unfair life in an unfair world, we finally can leave this life in peace. And such lives lived well will always inspire our children and others to do the same.

So, yes…life is unfair.

Deal with it. (Deep down, you know what to do.)



Wednesday, March 18, 2015

A Foreigner Cooking in Estonia - Recipe üks (1)

When I moved to Armenia twelve years ago, I had no idea how to cook from scratch and with local ingredients. I will forever be thankful to a few US embassy wives who took me under their wing and brought me into the world of Celsius ovens, making my own spaghetti sauces, breads and my favorite- desserts.

I learned to shop in the local open markets (after I learned to overlook the pigs' feet dripping blood into the sidewalk), and to cook in a way that would make my old-fashioned, St. Joseph famous cook extraordinaire (my grandma Juanita) proud.

And since I think we can all help another girl or guy out, I want to start to post the occasional recipe on this blog (with special instructions for those that reside in my current town- Tallinn, Estonia).

Some criteria I look for when making a meal:


  • It has to be healthy and something my kids actually enjoy eating.
  • I believe in a balance of all food groups (especially with growing kids).  
  • I try to use whole grain flour, pasta, and rice whenever possible.
  • I try to cook with ingredients that are all natural (without extra preservatives, colors, additives).
  • Since I have kids and work, I only have time to cook homemade meals 3 - 4 days a week.  Therefore, I need something that creates leftovers and we can munch on for at least two days.
  • I try to use only healthy oils when possible (extra virgin olive oil- cold pressed- is my favorite).
So, my first recipe is not something I make very often because it is a very rich meal.  But, it is something the boys in my family beg me for and will always remain one of their favorite meals.  

It is the good ol' Pot Roast (a popular meal in the UK and America). So, this recipe is for those in America who have never tried this cultural favorite, or for those living abroad who would like to!

First, I found the perfect cut of meat for pot roast at Stockmann supermarket in Tallinn.  Although a bit pricey, please remember that this recipe feeds a big group or will give leftovers for two days.



I buy 2 to 3 kg (4 - 6 lb) of beef roast or Ahjupraad (eesti keeles).
3 small bags of miniature full carrots - not the pre-cut ones (I found these in small bags at Rimi Supermarket) or a big bag of normal, large carrots that you would cut into smaller pieces.
1 large yellow onion
Fresh thyme and parsley (or dried - your choice)
4 cups of water
salt and pepper to taste (The estonian meat comes marinated with some garlic. If not buying from Stockmann in Tallinn, I would add garlic as well).
Optional:  cut peeled potatoes and add to roast or keep them separate to make mashed potatoes (my kids' favorite)
2 cubes of organic beef bouillon- to avoid high salt and preservatives found in traditional bullion (like this one I found at BioMarket in Solaris).  





Heat oven to 135 degrees Celsius (275 degrees Fahrenheit).

Heat a few tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot or frying pan on your stove. (I prefer a pot with sides to keep the roast from splattering oil all over my stove top as it cooks.) 

Place meat in pot and sear each side.  ("Sear" means to brown - not cook through - on each side of the beef.  This seals in all the beef's natural juices for the roasting process.  It usually takes a minute or less on each side of the cut of beef).

Once the beef is seared, place it into a large roaster or covered dutch oven that can be put into the oven.

Cut onion into 8 quarters and throw into roaster with beef.

Cut ends of mini-carrots and throw into roaster with beef (I don't even peel them).

Add seasoning into roaster - 1 tsp salt, 1 - 2 tsp fresh ground black pepper, 2 tablespoons of fresh chopped parsley, 2 tablespoons of fresh chopped thyme (or a few teaspoons of each in their dried versions).

Pour 4 cups of water over the roast and veggies.  Add 2 cubes of crumbled organic beef bouillon into the water surrounding the roast.  

It is optional to also add potatoes (peeled and cut into quarters) into the roast as well.  



Cover the roast and let is cook on a low heat for three to four hours.  



Although somewhat ugly, it is very delicious. When you remove it from the oven, you have a ready meal that you can serve after a busy day and one that everyone...especially the men in your life...will devour!  



Happy Roasting!  :)

Olivia










Sunday, March 15, 2015

I Am Not a Religious Person!

I am not a very religious person.

I know – shocker! After all, my father was a pastor and I started attending church weekly by crawling on the nursery’s floors. While in university studying music and English, I had a minor in Bible and Theology. I am married to a pastor. I lead the music and worship at a church.

But, I am not religious. I was for the first fourteen years of my life. I memorized Bible verses because my Sunday school teachers rewarded me with Dunkin Doughnuts. I tried to act the correct way in church when everyone there expected me to be a stellar example as a pastor’s daughter. I even gave all of my tenth birthday’s gift money in an offering – trying to show that I was that “type” of good Christian kid.

But, all the religion – the process of me trying to be good enough for God by following a set of rules and expectations – that all ended abruptly on a porch swing.

*****

In our line of overseas work, we are allowed to ship over a container from America ONE time in our career. If you serve for 50 years in the same country, you only get once chance to smuggle your materialistic Americaness across the ocean.

Our chance came in 2007. We had finished three years in Armenia and were about to fly out for our second term. A semi-truck arrived early one Friday morning and deposited a rusty, orange shipping container in our driveway. We had eight hours to fill that baby up before the semi would reappear and take our things to the nearest train bound for the East coast’s shipping yards.

We filled every corner of that thing. Last minute, when we realized that a little space remained, Nick drove to the nearest Sam’s Club and returned with a car full of discount, bulk American toilet paper and paper towels to stuff into every open nook and cranny. We were smugly confident that if that container’s ship sunk in the middle of Atlantic, even the fish would be impressed with how airtight and strategically packed it was.

It’s hard to think of everything you may possibly want or need from America for the unforeseeable future of working overseas. But, Nick insisted that one of my favorite things, a traditional wooden American porch swing, was a necessity.



I found God on a swing, hung on the porch of my parents’ Victorian home, when I was 14 years old.

I first sat down on our porch swing one night when I felt completely powerless. My months of excessive exercise, controlled eating and quick weight loss had finally been diagnosed as an official case of anorexia. My body had started the process of shutting down, and I had no idea on how to overcome the gripping fear I had when I was forced to eat well again. I had finally started to feel beautiful, worthy, and in control of a girl who had always felt valueless. It wasn’t about the food; it was about losing the beauty of me.

So on a hot summer night, my skinny body sat, swinging back and forth, under a star-filled sky. I started to sing an old church song I had learned as a girl. Perhaps the neighbors heard my teenage voice attempting to reach the stars. But, I didn’t care.

            “You alone are my strength and shield.
            To you alone may my Spirit yield.
            You alone are my heart’s desire,
            And I long to worship Thee.”

And as I sung that, I experienced the presence and overwhelming love of God for the first time in my life. I felt as if God took me, his dying daughter, into his lap, held me, rocked me and whispered courage into my bones.

This soon became a ritual for me. I would conclude every day with a time, rocking on my porch swing, staring at the stars, and singing and praying to God. I was no longer following a religion. I was following someone I loved.

Through the repetitive back and forth motion of that swing, I learned that God does not want our “religiousness.”  He just wants us.

*****

Tonight I sat in a theater filled with parents and little girls as we watched Disney’s new rendition of the classic fairytale, Cinderella.

Most fairytales center around a life lesson that the author intended for young children to glean. And I couldn’t agree more with how Disney chose to sum up this classic about a girl, found faithful in the cinders, who become queen.

“Have courage and be kind.”

Unfortunately, not all of us are born kind. My sister was. My parents would call her “Sunshine” or "Sweet Pea" as she would wake up every morning, her thin hair standing on end from static, and greet the world with a great big smile, kiss and hug.

I, on the other hand, was not born kind. Ask my parents. I entered the world screaming and colicy. A government social worker was even sent to my parents’ home to check against abuse since they knew how challenging of a baby I was. That continued into my toddler years. I was extremely determined and strong-willed. There was absolutely nothing easy about me.

Once my sister entered the world and became old enough to interfere with my life, I shared my best with her- stuck popcorn kernels up her nose, bossed her around with the greatest efficiency, and even would sit on her head while attempting to “expel gas” as a punishment for her disobedience to my iron will.



I also had a very sharp tongue. When my childhood crush refused to acknowledge my existence, I bit into the core of his weakness with such sharp words I found him crying in a corner twenty minutes later.

Although I certainly was not all bad or unpleasant, my mother used to summarize me best. “Olivia, you just have a mean streak.”

But then that mean streak met the God of my porch swing.

As I sat, nightly, I knew this was something that needed to be transformed in me. I began to pray and quote one of those Scriptures I had acquired for the love of doughnuts.

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”   - Galatians 5:22, 23; The Bible - Message version

And as I prayed those words, I saw real change. My sharp tongue was softened and my mean streak turned into a heart filled with compassion and kindness. EVERY ONE close to me noticed a difference. It was as if I became a different person. God did what he does best – He performed a miracle of the heart.

So, Hollywood blockbuster Cinderella, thanks for reminding me of something taught to me 22 years ago on a porch swing in St. Joseph, Missouri.

God took me in the midst of my fear and sickness, and taught me how to have courage- all while nestled in the lap of a powerful Father. A heart born defiant became softened with kindness.

And so, to you, I echo the words of Cinderella. “Have courage and be kind.”  Always.

Do whatever it takes to build those qualities in your heart and life.

Your kingdom was never meant to be marked in the history books as being weak and bitter.

Your “happily ever after” will be marked by courage and kindness.
Do whatever it takes to find your own porch swing under the stars. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Never too late for a bucket list

I never took the time to write out a bucket list.

Who needs a bucket list when you have a long list of things that HAVE to be done and take a few decades to accomplish?

To Do:
  • Finish university (check)
  • Get married to your high school sweetheart (check)
  • Help your husband realize his dream of overseas work; move to Armenia (check)
  • Get busy filling all the needs in Armenia- organizing, organizing and more organizing (check)
  • Have two kids (check)
  • Write a book about time in Armenia (check)
  • Help husband realize dream of starting a church in Estonia (check)
Suddenly, fifteen years slip by unnoticed.

During my final year in Armenia, someone asked me, "What do you LOVE to do?" 

I stood there for a minute, baffled, not even knowing how to answer. I had filled my life with so many things I had to do, I had lost touch with the things I enjoyed and dreamed of doing. As I sat there in silence, not even able to answer the simplest of questions, it suddenly became very clear:  I had a problem.

I came to a realization, and started to make some changes.  It could not be immediate, but little by little, I have turned the tide of my life. When I look back at this blog I wrote during that time of initiating transition, I can see how that clarity allowed me to welcome back the things I love most.

"If you could be anything in the world, what would you be?"

Until a year ago, I would have answered this question with things I thought were lofty and worthy.  Perhaps I would be a Harvard scholar, a professor, a CEO, a doctor, business-owner, an ambassador of world peace.

But, over this past year, I have been able to finally divide myself from a profession's prestige, earning power or holiness. I now know what I want to be:  a singer and a writer.  Yes, it certainly isn't the career a Mother Teresa, in her humility, would have chosen.  But, it's what makes my eyes light up, my disciplined work seem effortless, and it is what God created me to do.

The problem:  I am just now allowing myself to discover this at the age of 36.

I should have thrown myself into this career path when I was younger, more attractive, and more free.

After recently singing at a jazz lunch, an Estonian friend challenged me.  "You should try out for our version of 'American Idol.'"  I immediately said no and used my age as proof.

I replied, "Don't you have to be under 30 to even try for that competition?"

My good friend did a little research and discovered that I indeed was under the 75 year old age limit for "Estonian Idol," and encouraged me to reconsider.

So, on a cold January morning, full of jet lag and a bit of shame, I stood in line for the cameras as I waited my turn amidst the mass of teens and 20-somethings- to do something I always dreamed of.

It was scary.  It was fun.  I was the oldest one there.  And, it had been a good 15 years since I felt my heart nearly throb a hole in my neck as I stood in front of a panel of celebrity judges.

Despite being the oldest one there, I made it into the top 80 singers in the nation.  And then the door closed for me.  Perhaps I was too old or too developed; no longer "moldable."  I didn't have that young X factor.  And I was not Estonian.



Once I overcame the feeling of experiencing rejection on national TV, I remained so incredibly thankful for the experience.

I sat at my piano and sang daily as I prepped for the theater (Hollywood) round of the competition.  I dreamed of staging and even started to write a song to perform.

Nick even noticed the difference. "I haven't seen you be this excited and passionate in years."

And it felt so darn good.

So, although life is always filled with the things we HAVE to do, I have decided to spend the next two years also focusing on everything I LOVE to do as well.

Last week, I did a photo shoot with two very talented people:  photographer Oliver Rõõmus and make-up artist Janeli Kuusk.

Here is a preview of their work and the beginning of a website I am developing that is filled with things I LOVE and hope you love (at least a bit) too.


Writing.


Travel.


Music.


Food.


Exercise.


Giving Back.



I definitely have a few more wrinkles, pounds and responsibility than I did when I was young.  But, with every blemish came a lesson worthy of sharing and a piece of wisdom worth hanging on to.  

I just keep reminding myself and also encourage each of you 30-something, 40-something or 50-somethings out there of this truth:  it's never too late to follow the dream of who you are.

Never.  Ever.  You are bound to make the most impact in the world as WHO YOU ARE rather than who you should be.

So, what do you like to do?  What's on your bucket list?